{"id":305,"date":"2009-12-10T00:59:54","date_gmt":"2009-12-10T04:59:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rodatus.com\/journal\/?p=305"},"modified":"2025-10-07T19:28:37","modified_gmt":"2025-10-07T23:28:37","slug":"holding-back-pain-and-the-occasional-surge","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rodatus.com\/journal\/?p=305","title":{"rendered":"Holding Back Pain and the Occasional Surge"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I can only relate my experience with pain as I did in the journal entry Lightning Bolts of Pain<\/a>. I don’t understand the processes involved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I spend all my waking hours managing pain either through conscious activities such as distraction, keeping my feet elevated and warm, through anti-seizure medications which seem to hold back the pain, or unconsciously.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Occasionally I make a mistake, maybe it’s more like an overload of the stress involved holding back the pain. I sometimes accidentally allow the pain to come through and actually feel it in its full force. It’s horrible. This only happens about a couple of times a month. It is a lot of stress to hold back my pain but I’m not really conscious of the scope of it. Let me try to explain this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yesterday evening after a particularly stressful day including more activity than usual and constant higher pain levels I was in bed trying to get my feet “stable” again. Sometimes I hold off going to sleep in till a reasonable hour so that I don’t wake up at three in the morning. I have to hold off at least until 9 PM when I am due to take my nighttime medications.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was the situation when I made a mistake, or overloaded; I stopped holding back the pain. All of a sudden there was a surge of pain that was almost a whole body sensation. It was mostly my feet and hands of course, but several other areas also that I had forgotten about. It was as if every area of pain that I was holding back just let loose, a surge of pain. It was horrible as if a sudden disaster came upon me. I immediately turned away from whatever it was I was doing and had to consciously push back the pain. That wasn’t an easy thing to do. It was as if I was pushing it back into a box where my subconscious could take over and do its part to manage it helping to keep it at bay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The event only lasted a few seconds, maybe 10 or 15 seconds, but unlike a lightning bolt of pain where I had no control this was something that I had to make quite a conscious effort to get it back under control.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I can only relate my experience with pain as I did in the journal entry Lightning Bolts of Pain. I don’t understand the processes involved. I spend all my waking hours managing pain either through conscious activities such as distraction, keeping my feet elevated and warm, through anti-seizure medications which...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-305","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-thoughts-short-entries"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rodatus.com\/journal\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/305","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rodatus.com\/journal\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rodatus.com\/journal\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rodatus.com\/journal\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rodatus.com\/journal\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=305"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.rodatus.com\/journal\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/305\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":643,"href":"https:\/\/www.rodatus.com\/journal\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/305\/revisions\/643"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rodatus.com\/journal\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=305"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rodatus.com\/journal\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=305"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rodatus.com\/journal\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=305"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}