It is so important to accept change. Partly because it is inevitable – change will occur no matter what we do to try and stop it. We also need to recognize that so long as we hold on to things the way they are we are not allowing God to work His miracles. A baby, as beautiful as they are, will not stay a babe but grows up, gets married, and passes the way of all mortals. Death is part of the cycle of life as God has allowed it on this world. Ironically those who frantically attempt to hold on to things cease to enjoy them. Embrace change and we become part of the life that God intended for us.

Cleaning the summer room is all about change. I can’t work on my beloved projects anymore. We can’t take it with us not even to our downsized town home and certainly not to Heaven.

I could say more about change but I want you to know that I don’t grieve over the functional loss of my hands, feet, or bladder. I have repeatedly said that if I never worked on a computer again the rest of my life I would still find something to enjoy, something to distract me from pain, something to make me feel useful, something to worship my Heavenly Father.

So it is very easy for me to say that the end of an era has recently occurred and I have no regrets. I will not seek to hold on to something that God has ordained I should cease from enjoying. I’m talking about the camera that I purchased over 7 years ago. Can you believe it? That I’ve had this camera that long?* It is damaged and cameras are usually not something that can be fixed by the consumer. I have received, I feel, far more enjoyment from this camera than most people are able to have, far more, I know, than I ever expected. I loved taking photos of events at church and in the home. But God is calling me to new and different things.

I’m not really all that great with people as compared to, say, technology. God has given me mercy and has taught me many things. But I can see more and more that for me to focus a camera instead of focusing on the people near me would be a mistake. I feel like a terrible evangelist, but I’m called to evangelize. I feel like a terrible mentor but I’m called to mentor. I’m pretty sure that I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me. (Of course, I’m very sure of this!) I will still have technology. Helping the church every once in a while is still a joyful activity for me and I don’t think that will change anytime soon. But forgetting the camera that I’ve enjoyed for so long is a clear change that is needed in my life.

Last summer, when I dropped the telephoto lens and watched it descend in slow motion onto the concrete sidewalk, I wasn’t shaken at all by it. It was sort of a sign of the change that had already began even though I didn’t notice it yet. Seven years ago that lens cost almost as much as the camera. Now both are broken. (No, I didn’t drop the camera. It just seemed to have worn itself out.) I’m worn out in some ways. To continue to expend my energy taking photos, even though it has been such a joy, would be a serious mistake. Would we hold on to this world at the moment that God is calling us to be in Heaven? Most people seem to do so even when Heaven is their real home.

The era of my taking photos is over and I don’t regret it. Instead, I am looking forward to what God has called me to next. He is my loving Heavenly Father and I trust Him to lead me. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters; He restores my soul. The Lord is God.

Thank you, God, for such love, mercy, grace, and more that you have given me and my family especially these last 7 years of my disability. Who could ever imagine that there is such joy in the midst of such trials.

“Yea, Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,  I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. Amen!”

* I purchased the camera when I found out that I had cancer. It was, for me, a way to document life. It wasn’t about cancer but what life can be in spite of cancer. I didn’t focus on my cancer. I focused a camera on the life around me. 7 years of fighting cancer and 7 years of enjoying my camera. I don’t want a new one. I only want Jesus.