I remember what it was like to wake up early in the morning, shower, dress, shave, and begin my long commute to work. I remember working hard at my job, giving it my best, and then the long commute home. Exhausted from my day I was again called upon to give my very best but this time for my family. By the time I crawled into bed I was very, very tired. You know the drill, five days of it.

That was normal, to be expected. But when cancer attacked we changed worlds. All of a sudden I lived in a world of hurt, the world of constant pain, a world with changing landscapes of other diseases and strange symptoms that go along with my illness. Like it or not my family followed me into this world.

There are occasionally a few moments in the early morning after a good night’s sleep when I almost feel “myself” again. For me, it is a rare feeling, but it gives some clarity to what’s happening in my life.

Those few minutes of clarity, sometimes only two or three minutes, it’s like I’m a young man again who can “dream dreams.” And then the pain starts to come back. And I realize this is my life, a world of pain. And I have to manage it, cope, and compensate. It consumes me.

Whatever life I have leftover from my pain I try to give to my family, church, and friends. But what is left over is not really me but “me in pain.” Even my “leftover life” is hardly life at times. I want to laugh, I want to hug, I want to run in the yard playing tag with my boys, I want to demonstrate love to my family. But everything hurts. Everything..

Is any of this making sense? Let me explain it in a weird way. It’s like my life is actually in another dimension, that dimension being pain. And what you see here is the residue, a shell, a hologram which is not controlled by the real me. “The real me” spends every second trying to ignore the pain. What’s left for you and the rest of the world is something that I’m not very proud of at times.

My pain gives me some perspective on the world around me, the so-called “normal” world.

I see the world of hurt around me and understand a little better the pain felt by those who are not born again. My disease is only of my body. But the disease of sin destroys body, soul, and spirit. Any cure of the body is only temporary-we will all die. (Well, it is possible to be raptured before death.) But the cure for the spirit is free to all who believe, but which cost God much.

Every believer has an obligation to be an evangelist in some degree, in some venue, to some people. There are some people, of course, who have the gift of evangelism. But for the rest of us, no matter how difficult it is, we must be ready to give an answer for the hope lies within us.

Let us not forget the “world of hurt” that people around us live in. Let us show compassion and stay alert for the opportunity to share in the truth in love. It will come up so let’s don’t miss it.

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Earlier I was thinking of the words to a song: “No more let sin or sorrows grow nor thorns infest the ground. He comes to make His blessings flow far as the curse is found.” I love the clarity of these words. I love the optimism, the hope, the life, or should I say the “Life” in these words. Immanuel. God with us. He comes to make His blessings flow far as the curse is found-even in a world of hurt. Hallelujah!