Being over 50 years old there are few things I could say that are worthwhile I think. There are a few things in particular I feel I really need to say.

I’ve been married 26 years now. Over all I give our marriage 4/5 stars but I think that  is optimistic, overlooking some serious faults that we had, that I had early on. Our marriage is great now in my opinion. Five out of five stars. Maybe I’m still being optimistic.

Early in our marriage I was so very blind in so very many areas of life. One might look at me and think that I had a great work ethic. I knew how to work hard and give everything I had to the job and not be lazy. The problem was that I had my priorities mixed up. I put my work above relationships. I put technology above relationships. I could make quite a list of all the things that I put above relationships.

One of the areas that I was completely blind to-and I thought about this a lot whether or not I truly was completely blind-was how harsh I was with my wife and my children. My loved ones, specifically my parents and my sister,  tried to bring that to my attention. In other aspects of child training I know I did well enough. Any criticism will continue to fall without a response from me. But even if aspects of my child training were correct I went about it in an overly emotional and often times harsh manner. I really didn’t know what I was doing, how I was coming across, how I was affecting and hurting people, the people that I loved the most.

How could I be so completely blind! Seeing it so clearly now as I do helps me to realize more so that there are things that I’m blind to, things where I need to listen to my loved ones who are trying to correct me and bring things to my attention.

This also helps me to see other people and recognize their blindness. By experience I also recognize a certain amount of futility in trying to make them see what they can’t see. I will admit that I was so stubborn and arrogant such that I was less likely to listen to anyone. I now witness in the lives of others humility, a teachable spirit, and genuine desire for maturity and growth. It varies from person to person how willing they are to listen and learn something new about an area in which they are blind.

I have much hope for myself and for others. The others I know won’t have to wait until they’re 50 to learn how to be gentle, patient, and loving even in the midst of whatever sort of chaos sin brings about.

There is always so much more that I’d like to say but my disability greatly limits what I can communicate.

Mercy triumps over judgement.

Alive In Christ, Now and Forever,

Ed Rodatus